from inside "The Ferris Wheel" -- an essay (4)

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Let us stop dreaming and back to tankas in our hand.
Roma-ji(how to read original tanka) follows after translation by the poet's will.

if I chose my name
it might be "no title"
but I wear a tag
which reads Watanabe
----Saitoh Saitoh

daimei wo
tsukeru to sureba
mudai daga
nafuda wo tsukereba
watanabe no watashi


i am asked
may i have
your name again,
i reply Saitoh
for my name is Saitoh
----Saitoh

onamae nanto
ossyai mashitakke
to iware
saitoh to shiteha
saitoh to suru

These tankas throw a question that what is "I". They can be said concept-predecessor type, it may be unnecessary to apply delicate translation for rhythm like that appeared in the part 1 of this essay. Although, the radical distrust for 'I' which appear in these tankas can be universal issue, I think. Then such works should be translated and launched to the world, then it can be a base of identity crisis argument, with poets from other culture. That may be exiting, I think.

It is difficult to tell a critical tanka from other, but if we can, we walk forward to throw our issues to English speakers first, then the world, for we the Japanese learn English in the compulsory education.

[referrence]
Translation of Tanka -- work of collaboration -- in the case of As Things Are and Ferris Wheel
(Kozue Uzawa, Simply Haiku vol.4 no.4; winter 2006)
link

Book Reviews LYNX XXII; February 2006
(Jane Reichhold)
link

from inside "The Ferris Wheel" -- an essay (3)

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By all means it causes some trouble if the world recognize this book as all of Japanese tanka. Why? Because tanka writers are excluded from the international poets' society or network( if exists), even from common people, as "uneatable fishes". What's uneatable fish? Me-ism, emotion, and feeling, if that's all tanka has, such a kind of poem are not valuable in our contemporary complex world. In fact, tanka writers will not concerned as poets and excluded from many of symposiums or conventions around poetry, literature, or art, and, (this is important) are not given places to express our ideologies or thinkings, and argue with poets or artists of other styles. Now, in Japan, the phenomenon is actually occurring. Many of tanka writers read poem books, on the other hand many of free poetry writers do not read tanka at all. Think what it means.

It is our--tanka writers' fault. There are too rare broadcastings to poets, artists, and the world from Japanese tanka writers. It is natural to think it is not exist that is not visible. When wandering around the web, some people accurately grip tanka and the correct understanding of tanka is developing; though there are some who still place tanka after spiritualism, zen>>haiku>>tanka, ignoring the simplest history of japanese short formatted poetry.

Furthermore, in tanka world in Japan, there exist movements and ideologies, in and out of "tanka group". All the way, there are few movements that tells about their works or activities out of Japanese-speakers' world. Of course it is necessary to get out of tanka group or tanka society to say what they are doing, or no-one recognizes even there we are. But it is not easy, because we do not evaluate what is important and what is not...

Generally speaking, Japanese people lacks imagination of living crisis, then it occurs a sense of crisis is in a cliche. They, or we, or I, cannot write what is out of imagination. On the other side of the world, there are people who were and are grown up hugging guns in their cradle. If they begin to write poetry (or tanka), my lukewarm tanka will be blown away soon.

Adversity puts out powerful literature. Now Japanese young people are cornered to deadline, no work and under least payment. New tanka may be born from those who are cornered. There appear and increase little by little young people, maybe in tanka writers also, who get into their sight, culture, society, and wars on the other side of the earth.


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from inside "The Ferris Wheel" -- an essay (2)

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And then i think it is QUEER that a contemporary tanka anthology does NOT contain these writers and poems as follows:

if you wash a hose
do until its spirit
gets clear
if you love a person
do it till you think to kill one
----Kunio Tsukamoto

a horse galloped
into winter mist
and vanished
i only prosper children
being here and continuously
----Taeko Kuzuhara

i wonder
what's this calmness is,
after the sun is headed
it remains purple
in the big sky
----Ken Kasugai

Bunmei Tsuchiya.
Chieko Yamanaka.

at the apex of a lung
there burns a flower
of convoluvulus,
telling to my patient,
my words tend to bend
----Takashi Okai

when i hug her
there remains moisture
in her hair,
she sais the beauty
of the rain in a field
----Takashi

Fumiko Nakajo.

the breast,
so far
like a cape.
shit! till when
my boyhood keeps?
----Kazuhiro Nagata

(besides, Yuko Kawano, Nagata's wife's corresponding tanka is in the anthology.)

Tatsuhiko Ishii.
Ryuichiro Fujiwara.
(These 2 writers' works are different in the difficulty of translation from other contemporary writers, i agree.)

so early
return you
your lily vase,
though you showed me
such an expression.
----Jiro Kato

abolision of the village,
tells the typography, and is blurred
where touches
pealed peach skin.
...come to me.
----Naoko Higashi

we sleep
in the last bus
scheduled tonight
surrounded by purple signs
"get off the bus"
----Hiroshi Homura

Shion Mizuhara.
Mikako Umenai.
Tatsuhide Semba.
Kouichi Masuno.
and several writers in younger generation, and so on.

(in this post all tanka was translated by Numatani.)


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From inside the "Ferris Wheel" -- an essay (1)

From inside the "Ferris Wheel" -- an essay written by Kasumi Numatani

"Ferris Wheel -- 101 Modern and Contemporary tanka" , 2006, Cheng & Tsui (U.S.A.), edited and translated by Kozue Uzawa and Amelia Fielden

all written horizontally, including original text in Japanese, how to read original poem with roma-ji, and English translation. One poem in one page with the 3 styles. Preface bilingual. tanka writers' biography at the end of the book, bilingual also.

as an introduction I quote an translation:

ferris wheel,
go round and round!
memories last
one day for you
a lifetime for me ----Kyoko Kuriki

According to

Simply Haiku

, unless the credit says that this book is co-translated, this is an anthology edited and translated by Professor Uzawa, Ms. Fielden only assisted Ms. Uzawa to make translations more natural as English poems.

The quoted tanka can be said that translation is successfully done to move original poem's rhythm into English. I quote other example, which is placed at the beginning of the book, masterpiece by Yukitsuna Sasaki.

like a child
making fresh, crispy sounds
you crunch celery sticks
I don't need a reason
to adore you ---- Yukitsuna Sasaki

on the last line, the word 'adore' is chosen as the translation of 'ai-suru', whose standard translation word is 'love'. This is closer in meaning and pronunciation also, good choice of word. And more, the sound [a] makes a rhythm with [a]s in the first line. Through 1st line to 3rd line, there occurs inversion to make the first line lighter than normal order of the translated sentence. And, according to the author Ms. Uzawa, [s]s and [k]s are frequently appears in the original poem, then she also tried to use them as frequent as possible in the translation.

More about contents. I quote from the Preface of Japanese version:

This book was made to introduce some of Japanese contemporary tanka to English readers.

Another quotation from the same Preface. How do you think :

These contemporary tankas are 101 selections from my notebook which I was moved, noted, and translated into English.

This book contains many historical masterpieces, much of variable emotional tankas, and easy to read. I cannot deny nowadays(accurately from the end of 19th century to 1990's) tankas like these are popular, favored and read by many(I mean majority) people. Easy-to-recite tankas are chosen, and translated very carefully. Each tankas' value are very precious. This is an anthology of tankas which have succeeded to show itself fascinating as "Me the special emotion's wet part of heart" ...

And mentioned above, this book is originated by Dr. Uzawa's personal notebook and completely under her preference. Though good books which is able to compete or compare with, This book is the only one which introduce Japanese tanka nowadays, to our regret.

I must mention the popular take-and-abandon-issue. Preface says that the author did not choose authors but works. Of course chosen tankas are masterpieces, easy to recite, good for beginners who have got interested in tanka just now, and good for those who prefer emotional and sweet poems, as I mentioned above. All the way, this is NOT all of japanese contemporary tanka, with flat viewpoint and the sight wide enough to see each wings, conservatives and avants-gardes.

But my worry may be needless. You can read English tanka readers' review on the web, they pay attention to this book is an anthology from Ms. Uzawa's tanka note; about tankas selected, easy to read, translate, and valuable reference to those who begin to write tanka in English by themselves. Some review also mentions that the tankas are 20th century's. In the world of English poetry, of course, there are many many styles, or ideologues, it is natural that poets who have discernment easily aware of the issue or problem.

In the Preface, contemporary tanka varies in styles, rhetorics, and themes. But how about tanka groups -- which has much relationship with ideology ?
Dr. Uzawa is a member of "Kokoro no hana" (which means flowers in your mind or mental flowers), origins Nobutsuna Sasaki, and now the group contains Machi Tawara, the world's famous tanka writer. I don't know our side is on the contrary or not, I am from "Mirai" (which means the future"), origins "Araragi" by Mokichi Saitoh and Bunmei Tsuchiya, and now there are Takashi Okai as a leader, Jiro Kato as one of most famous tanka writer.
Let us back to the anthology. There are one or two tankas included, poems as follows:

exhausted
from the police interrogation
I get home at midnight
my period starts
like rage
----Motoko Michiura

you say
you hate wars
you're right, right, right
but, then
what would YOU do?
----Michiyo Kuroki

About precise years that original tanka is published. it is not newer than the former part of 1990's. The following quotation is the head 2 and tail 2 of this book.

like a child
making fresh, crispy sounds
you crunch celery sticks
I don't need a reason
to adore you ---- Yukitsuna Sasaki (re-quotation)

on rainy branches
apricot buds
swelling into bloom
anxiously
as if waiting for love
---- Kazuhiko Ito

the mouse
which took brown sugar soap
from the bathroom
that night
must have been happy
---- Etsuko Tsunomiya

dear brother
don't forget this--
birds
flying through the sky
have heavy entrails
----Kazuhiko Ito

5 POETS ARE QUOTED 5 TANKAS. 101 tankas' writers are ONLY 55 .



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Poesy in English -- 2nd Symposium on internationalization of tanka

Poesy in English -- 2nd Symposium on internationalization of tanka
by Kasumi Numatani


I attended to the symposium featuring Ms. Yuko Kawano and Ms. Amelia Fielden around translation of Kawano's recent tanka collection book "My Tanka Diary".

In fact, fundamental difficulties and viewpoints are already published in "Simply Haiku" by the translator herself. I will try to introduce inportant issues around Japanese and English tanka as many as possible from her writings and the symposium.

Tanka has a rule of syllables, when written in Japanese. but it cannot be applied so easily to English, because English is a 'stressed language', and on the other hand Japanese is 'syllabic' and if applied syllabic rule in English, the work will be too verbose. To avoid verboseness, tanka in English tends to be free from syllabic rule, but shortness is regarded more important. According to Dr. Kozue Uzawa, the shortness can be ruled by quantity of words, 10 to 15, up to 20 is recommended. This is available, I think.

On starting the work, the translator had tried to convert as it is, neither add nor subtract anything, remaining vagueness, equivocalness. English and Japanese sentences, however, grammatically takes inverse order of words, then some works could remain the order of words as it is, but some could not. This is not avoidable but regrettable for us who rack our brains for the best order to present images. And fortunately some has done, it is marvelous.

Now I introduce an issue argued at the symposium:

may 9

yama harete yama no katachi no yoku mi yuru yoki yo to nareri kimi ha kaeri ki

the mountain is fine,
its shape clearly visible,
on the lovely night
this has become
when you return home

Yuko Kawano "My Tanka Diary" translated by Amelia Fielden

Ms. Fielden admired this work as a wonderful love song. and the frequent appearance of "ya" and "ka" enlarges the rhythm of this tanka. Bytheway, why don't we remember the famous work in Man'yoshu:

yoki hito no yoshi to yoku mi te yoshi to iisi Yoshino yoku miyo yoki hito yoku mi

by Emp. Tenmu from Man'yoshu vol.1 no.27

Ms. Kawano has huge cabinet of knowledge UNDER her consciousness. Even if she never reminds of the work of Tenmu on and after making may 9's work, it it is natural to regard there must have existed somewhere in her brain. Against the table of the symposium, I lost the chance to ask the question to both. I think Ms. Fielden also knows Tenmu's work.

One more issue on this May 9's work.
An question has raised that if the 'on' on the 3rd line is necessary. I felt the same. If you want to put the center of this work on 'night' of 3rd line, you shuld not make the 'night' a part of a subordinate clause, I felt. However, this 'on' is necessary not to make this script meaningless, the translator answered. Nevertheless, the center of this work still remains on the 'night' of 3rd line, and 'this' at the beginning of 4th line represents the 'night'.

When we think how we make tanka, it is true that the center of the work need not a noun substantive, to say the truth, any parts of speech can be placed as the most powerful part of a work.

To think more about poesy in English, I asked again about that 'on' and the center of this work by e-mail and fortunately received the answer: this is a translation as a poetry and to communicate accurate meaning by prose the translation may differ. English poetry also has some rules to make a short writing a poetry. When we write tanka in Japanese, to make a center of poetry we twist grammer. I must study what is done in poetries in English. And I thought "My Tanka Diary" may be a book for well trained poets.

About misreads. Tanka often has multi meanings. Different interpretation often leads to different theme, at many cases far from writer's will. Of course it occurs on the stage of translation. Translated work is said to be another work by the translator, it is true and i think translators should not be transparent. On the other hand it is important to communicate emotions, and misread is dangerous, even between a writer and a reader who shares the same mother tongue. This may be a fault of tanka in Japanese language. And I long for new tankas in other cultures.

Another issue talked at the symposium. Tanka readers often does not evaluate the role of 'hira-uta' and tend to make tanka collection as if self anthology. How to enjoy a personal tanka collection book has not accepted widely yet. I think this is on the tradition of English poetry, which is often short and easy to recitate. On this culture it is difficult that tanka sequence widely develop. Many English magazines which accept submission tanka sequences, it should be consist up to 6 tankas. We Japanese hardly call 6 tankas a tanka sequence. I had made some tanka sequences which consists of 100 tankas. It will be my job to let the world realize how amusing long tanka sequences are, I dream.


*Original Japanese writing first published on 15 November, 2007; in Les Papiers Cyans Dec., 2008 issue.

indecent or artistic

Yesterday the Supreme Court of Japan decided that photographs of Robert Mapplethorpe's areNOT indecent even the motif is genitals, this decision reversed the previous judgement of Tokyo high court.

Fortunately I have seen the recollection exhibition of his works in 1988, and knew how his photographs are visually beautiful
BECAUSE every works contains some sensual factor.

For example, The Tulips by Mapplethorpe is widely loved by Japanese ordinary people and art lovers. when the Tulip is displayed as a single work of 2 photos of flowers, who can be conscious one of them represents half erected penis or injection curve?

Anyway, the decision has done and we the Japanese can see arts which contains genitals.

For me, I would like non-masked version of "Prospero's Books" by Peter Greenaway in DVD.

Cats' Day

22nd February is called The Cats' Day in Japan.

It originates in the onomatopoeia of cats' mewing in Japan. There are some expression which represent cat's mewing; many of them starts with 'n'. Nyah, nyaoh, mee, and NEE, and so on. Besides, 2 is read 'nee' in Japanese language. That's why 22/2 (nee nee nee) is named "Cats' Day".

This evening I gave my old cat a can of fish as the Cats' Day dinner. :-)


[first posted on 2 feb, 2008]